Well, we WERE going to participate in Scree Free Week, but I already, unwittingly (I forgot this was THE week) ruined it. I have been watching TV on & off ALL day. And so has the Moose :(
I made it to the dentist this morning and it turns out that the tooth in question is undergoing resorption or something... anyway, I now have an appointment for 8am tomorrow to have a root canal. Anyway, I feel like poo, so the Moose has been allowed to watch an excessive amount of TV the last 2 days.
OK, this originally had a lot more whining negativity, but NO! Optimism, come back! Even if it's only in medicated form :)
My masseuse bequeathed a set of discs to me when she moved away called the Silva Method - 2 sets actually: the Silva Life System & the Silva Intuition System. Yobo suggested that, since I'll be missing meditation tonight & I hadn't yet started the System, maybe I should give it a shot... so now I'm listening.
It says to listen to 1 disc per day, so here's to Disc 1. This was my motivation to delete all the negativity - focus only on what you want, not what you don't want/need.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Pain
How do you deal with pain? I don't deal well. Everything kind of starts to turn dark, the light in life becomes obscured, and it becomes very difficult to see anything remotely positive.
I have chronic (almost) daily migraines. I'm still figuring out how to deal with that one - it's an endless loop of pain engulfed in doctor-imposed bureaucracy and I often feel like I am drowning in the middle of doctor-crap.
Today has nothing to do with migraines though. I don't know what it is; maybe an unseen laceration in my mouth somewhere? There doesn't seem to be anything obvious - Yobo has looked with a flashlight & couldn't see anything. There's a whole lot of referral pain, can't pinpoint exact location of initiating pain. It doesn't hurt as bad in the morning, but the pace of the pain shoots up exponentially in the afternoon and the destination is Crazy Pain Town and I can't get off the damned train. This is Day 2. I've never really had a dental emergency before, but I'm beginning to think this may constitute one. I can't sleep - all I can think about is how bad my mouth/head feel. It's all consuming. It's 2am. I quit smoking 3 years ago, but I would totally be chain smoking right now if I had any cigarettes. Oh my. I would LOVE to smoke right now. Thank goodness it's past 2am & I'm in enough pain that I can barely see straight, much less drive straight, right?
I was in bed, but was keeping Yobo up, so I came into the office. I can't sleep anyway, might as well not keep him from sleeping either. I turned on the computer, checked my email, and discovered this little nugget of wisdom from Tiny Buddha "Embracing Pain: Life's Gifts Often Come Wrapped in Sandpaper," with this headlining quote: " “The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown Oh my goodness. I love Tiny Buddha, but the timing of that email makes me want to punch someone in the face. Well, maybe it's purpose was to make me feel better. I guess, by reading this part (below), I kind of do...
“How did you get so wise?” My friend’s voice on the other end of the telephone line was genuinely curious.
I took a moment to think, wanting to be just as sincere in my response as she was in her inquiry. I felt the words climb up from the depths of my heart and ride a breath of truth as they passed through my lips.
“I cry a lot,” I finally responded.
I must be a super wise(ass) old owl then! P.S. Curiosity killed the cat. See where I'm at? Not being very optimistic. Or curious. Arg. I'll go back & re-read those articles tomorrow. Maybe they'll be better in the morning.
OK, now, before I end up saying something incredibly improper, I need to go do some less productive things online, like troll crafting blogs for all the wonderful ideas of things I will rarely actually make.
It's really hard to not be super bitchy right now. Thankfully, everyone else is asleep.
____________________________________________________________________________
!Update!
It's about 530am now. Still in sucky pain, but in better spirits. Trollin' the interwebnets for the win!
This one showed up in my Google Reader as "Hey, You. Whatever you might be struggling through or striving for, keep it up. You are doing a good job." Well, thank you. I needed that at that exact moment & that was quite lovely indeed.
And then I read this one & I could just feel her love oozing out of every word & it felt good. Thank you for sharing these moments.
And! Apparently I was up for a reason. The Moose just woke up crying... I really hope it doesn't smell funny in there.
I have chronic (almost) daily migraines. I'm still figuring out how to deal with that one - it's an endless loop of pain engulfed in doctor-imposed bureaucracy and I often feel like I am drowning in the middle of doctor-crap.
Today has nothing to do with migraines though. I don't know what it is; maybe an unseen laceration in my mouth somewhere? There doesn't seem to be anything obvious - Yobo has looked with a flashlight & couldn't see anything. There's a whole lot of referral pain, can't pinpoint exact location of initiating pain. It doesn't hurt as bad in the morning, but the pace of the pain shoots up exponentially in the afternoon and the destination is Crazy Pain Town and I can't get off the damned train. This is Day 2. I've never really had a dental emergency before, but I'm beginning to think this may constitute one. I can't sleep - all I can think about is how bad my mouth/head feel. It's all consuming. It's 2am. I quit smoking 3 years ago, but I would totally be chain smoking right now if I had any cigarettes. Oh my. I would LOVE to smoke right now. Thank goodness it's past 2am & I'm in enough pain that I can barely see straight, much less drive straight, right?
I was in bed, but was keeping Yobo up, so I came into the office. I can't sleep anyway, might as well not keep him from sleeping either. I turned on the computer, checked my email, and discovered this little nugget of wisdom from Tiny Buddha "Embracing Pain: Life's Gifts Often Come Wrapped in Sandpaper," with this headlining quote: " “The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown Oh my goodness. I love Tiny Buddha, but the timing of that email makes me want to punch someone in the face. Well, maybe it's purpose was to make me feel better. I guess, by reading this part (below), I kind of do...
“How did you get so wise?” My friend’s voice on the other end of the telephone line was genuinely curious.
I took a moment to think, wanting to be just as sincere in my response as she was in her inquiry. I felt the words climb up from the depths of my heart and ride a breath of truth as they passed through my lips.
“I cry a lot,” I finally responded.
I must be a super wise(ass) old owl then! P.S. Curiosity killed the cat. See where I'm at? Not being very optimistic. Or curious. Arg. I'll go back & re-read those articles tomorrow. Maybe they'll be better in the morning.
OK, now, before I end up saying something incredibly improper, I need to go do some less productive things online, like troll crafting blogs for all the wonderful ideas of things I will rarely actually make.
It's really hard to not be super bitchy right now. Thankfully, everyone else is asleep.
____________________________________________________________________________
!Update!
It's about 530am now. Still in sucky pain, but in better spirits. Trollin' the interwebnets for the win!
This one showed up in my Google Reader as "Hey, You. Whatever you might be struggling through or striving for, keep it up. You are doing a good job." Well, thank you. I needed that at that exact moment & that was quite lovely indeed.
And then I read this one & I could just feel her love oozing out of every word & it felt good. Thank you for sharing these moments.
And! Apparently I was up for a reason. The Moose just woke up crying... I really hope it doesn't smell funny in there.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
FREE 'MATER PLANTS!
If you're in the Anchorage area and would like some FREE tomato plants, stop by Elim Cafe @ 561 W Dimond Blvd, courtesy of Adina's Acres.
If there aren't any left when you get there, give us a call @ (907) 244-4922 and we'll work something out :D
If there aren't any left when you get there, give us a call @ (907) 244-4922 and we'll work something out :D
Skewlz
Oi vei. Of course I would lose steam when this class gets it's hardest! My last test was my first non-A grade :( But in an effort to not make myself totally crazy trying to cram in a blessed retake on top of an already busy schedule, I've decided to just let it ride. When I sat down to take the test, I knew it would be bad... I looked at it & my brain screamed "WTF?! Why's this in Greek!?!" It wasn't really, but it may as well have been. I got a 78% - so not really a BAD grade (peeps keep repeating "C's get degrees!"), but nowhere near what I'd hoped.
Apparently learning to relax has been a little too fruitful in some aspects. Or maybe it's just good old procrastination rearing it's ugly head. I should be doing homework right now, but I am avoiding it by writing this & reading other people's posts. Where did all my motivation go?!!?!?!?!?!?!
There are only 2 weeks left in school - I need my mojo back! OK, I'm closing this out & getting back to it. No more interwebnet THIS lunch hour :)
Apparently learning to relax has been a little too fruitful in some aspects. Or maybe it's just good old procrastination rearing it's ugly head. I should be doing homework right now, but I am avoiding it by writing this & reading other people's posts. Where did all my motivation go?!!?!?!?!?!?!
There are only 2 weeks left in school - I need my mojo back! OK, I'm closing this out & getting back to it. No more interwebnet THIS lunch hour :)
Thursday, April 11, 2013
What's your favorite spring time activity?
Hmmm... finally being able to run around outside nekkid without freezin' your tushy off! Hahahaha not really, but oh man, if I had the nerve to do it... that would be it.
My favorite spring time activity is actually a trick question - where I'm at, spring = slush & floods from slush. We're spending a LOT of time trucking through slush/water and preparing for SUMMER. Really, spring for us is about ignoring the slush & all those middle-of-the-road-lakes amongst us and preparing for summer... which, for we Alaskans, starts the moment the slush gone. Waiting until June is for the birds! You'd miss 1/3 of the summer if you wait until Solstice. If you busy yourself & pretend hard enough, you hardly even notice that everything is yuck right now :)
Summer, however, is about running around (usually at least partially clothed) outside. I live in a place where the sun don't shine much most of the year, so when we get it in droves for the summer months, we spend most of our time outside doing EVERYTHING and getting sunshine EVERYWHERE it don't shine the rest of the year. Walking, fishing, camping, gardening, running, napping, sunbathing, blowing bubbles, rolling in the grass, grilling good eats... heck, I'll even be pulling my spinning wheel out to the lawn for some sunshiney spin time. We try to forget that TVs exist. We stop going to the supermarket so often - we spend time every day playing in the dirt, growing REALLY good eats! And, this summer, we'll also be continuing to clear land & begin building a home of our own.
Working in a beautiful building with loads of natural light makes it rather difficult to concentrate on those pesky work things this time of year.
My favorite spring time activity is actually a trick question - where I'm at, spring = slush & floods from slush. We're spending a LOT of time trucking through slush/water and preparing for SUMMER. Really, spring for us is about ignoring the slush & all those middle-of-the-road-lakes amongst us and preparing for summer... which, for we Alaskans, starts the moment the slush gone. Waiting until June is for the birds! You'd miss 1/3 of the summer if you wait until Solstice. If you busy yourself & pretend hard enough, you hardly even notice that everything is yuck right now :)
Summer, however, is about running around (usually at least partially clothed) outside. I live in a place where the sun don't shine much most of the year, so when we get it in droves for the summer months, we spend most of our time outside doing EVERYTHING and getting sunshine EVERYWHERE it don't shine the rest of the year. Walking, fishing, camping, gardening, running, napping, sunbathing, blowing bubbles, rolling in the grass, grilling good eats... heck, I'll even be pulling my spinning wheel out to the lawn for some sunshiney spin time. We try to forget that TVs exist. We stop going to the supermarket so often - we spend time every day playing in the dirt, growing REALLY good eats! And, this summer, we'll also be continuing to clear land & begin building a home of our own.
Working in a beautiful building with loads of natural light makes it rather difficult to concentrate on those pesky work things this time of year.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Adina's Acres
We're offically open for business!
http://adinasacres.wordpress.com/
**another one that should have been posted in January.
http://adinasacres.wordpress.com/
**another one that should have been posted in January.
Bliss
Tonight was dancing to a mariachi record in the Moose's bedroom. The lights in her room are a strand of pink Christmas lights strung along her ceiling, attached to a white set in her closet. My dance partners tonight included: Yobo, the Moose, Minnie Mouse, and a plush baby giraffe rattle.
***I have been SO behind on things! This should've been posted in January.
***I have been SO behind on things! This should've been posted in January.
The Explanation
So my last post was pulled because... I got skeered. I submitted it to a place looking for writers, which is something I've wanted to do for a LONG time, and didn't get any response back. I thought maybe they were offended by what I wrote. I thought maybe someone I didn't know would read it, not understand, be offended, and have bad words to say. I thought maybe some I *did* know would read it, not understand, be offended, and have bad words to say. There was a lot of fear. Fear I am trying to learn to overcome! Well, maybe not "overcome," but embrace and run into, rather than away from. Otherwise, how will I ever know if there was anything, really, of which to be scared?
I am a runner. And not in the athletic sense, though I occasionally do that sometimes, too. I am a runner from emotion & responsibility. I am a runner from everything of which I am scared, which is kind of everything. I will stop running. Maybe I'll just walk slowly.
I am a runner. And not in the athletic sense, though I occasionally do that sometimes, too. I am a runner from emotion & responsibility. I am a runner from everything of which I am scared, which is kind of everything. I will stop running. Maybe I'll just walk slowly.
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